Saturday, June 25, 2011

Ciao for Now




Auntie Mame:
Widdecomb, Guterman, Applewhite, Biberman and Black. You want to talk to Mr. Guterman? One moment, sir. I'll connect you. Widdecomb, Guterman, Applewhite, Biberman and Black. Oh, yes Mr. Biberman. You'd like to talk with Mr. Applewhite? Oh, yes, sir, he's in. I'll connect you. Widdecomb, Guterman, Applewhite, Bib-bib-bib-blib-bibman and Black? Oh yes, long distance, how are you? Oh. Mr Widdecomb? I have your San Francisco call for you. Yes, Mr. Biberman? Oh. Did I connect you to Mr. Guterman instead of Mr. Applewhite? I'm sorry Mr. Bibbicome, Bibbibibbib. [She pulls the jack out of the plug and shakes it] Oh Mr. Applewhite, what are you doing in that hole with Mr. Guterman? Yes Mr. Widdecomb? Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I'll try to reconnect you again with San Francisco. Let me see, Mr. Bibibib is in there talking to Mr. Bubbawhite. Where on earth is Mr. Applewhite? Oh, there you are Mr. Applewhite! [She starts to cross cords and desperately plug jacks into holes] Mr. Widdecomb, there's no such place as San Francisco. Please! [She lifts up her console and is horrified to see that it's glowing] Mr. Bibibib? Mr. Widdecomb?


The Siren has chosen the above passage from Auntie Mame for three reasons.

First, she is about to go off-line, big time. For a little more than two weeks, the Internet will, for the most part, have to spin on its axis without her. Vadim Rizov will tweet his last Glenn Beck live-tweet--unless he decides vacations are for lowering blood pressure, not raising it. Victoria, Sian and Annie will waft scented samples at the Siren in vain. Glenn Kenny’s epic Barry Lyndon aspect-ratio thread will draw more comments, but not the Siren’s. Simon Abrams and Ryan Kelly will brunch without her. Kim Morgan will tumble at her beautiful new tumblr, but the Siren shall not see it until she returns the week of July 11.

Second, and saddest, for the Siren, the Web will be full of tributes to the late, deeply lamented Peter Falk, and hers will not be one of them, not until she returns, at the soonest. Maybe not even then. When John Mortimer, creator of the Siren’s beloved Rumpole, passed away, Lance Mannion told the Siren that he’d write a tribute when his heart could take the strain. Lance still hasn’t done it. The Siren feels the same way about Columbo.

Hence, Auntie Mame. Is there any stress, strain or sadness that Auntie Mame can’t help?

But, third and final, being the ultimate New Yorker in many ways, Auntie Mame is also there to share our joys. And this morning, she would be very proud of us. The Siren is sure of that.

See y’all in about two weeks. Play nice.

24 comments:

Simon Abrams said...

"Bib-bib-bib-bib!"

or maybe: "Missy Dennis? Stock broker wanna say 'Hallo' before he jump outta window?"

Safe travels, Farran!

Tony Dayoub said...

Vaya con Dios, amiga!

DavidEhrenstein said...

"A Lady Needs A Rest"

Trish said...

Ah oui. Je comprends. Bonnes vacances, Madame Siren.

Vanwall said...

Be seeing you.

La Faustin said...

I'm imagining something like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0g-NkaFYpmE

but I may be unjust.

Have a wonderful time and come back to us ASAP!

MikeT said...

Oh, no. What will we do without you for two whole weeks? (I, too, mourn the passing of the marvelous Mr. Falk.)

Noel Vera said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Noel Vera said...

Two weeks? Two weeks?

Two?

Weeks?

Well do our best to do without you, Siren...

Mark Lancaster said...

I'll miss you, Campaspe, but as a neophyte to your blog, I'll continue my journey through your ample archives, which are sure to keep me entertained and enlivened until you return. Best wishes for your time away from us, your devoted readers.

Yojimboen said...

Bonnes Vacances a toute l'équipe!

Na bi fada gun tilleadh!

VP81955 said...

I'll miss you, Campaspe, but as a neophyte to your blog, I'll continue my journey through your ample archives, which are sure to keep me entertained and enlivened until you return.

And they will.

Enjoy your two weeks' respite, Farran.

cgeye said...

May your time away from us be stress-free and unconcerned with us.

DavidEhrenstein said...

I have just been informed that one of my all-time favorite cinematic deities Elaine Stewart (The Bad and the Beautiful, The Adventures of Haji Baba) has departed this mortal coil.

I am in DEEP mourning.

Yojimboen said...

R.I.P. Bellissima

Karen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Karen said...

Geez, I go out of town for One Lousy Weekend, and the Internets go to Hell in a Handbasket.

Sigh. You deserve it, of course. Have a wonderful, wonderful vacation.

But still! What about us??!?!

""

(My WV is "bleri"--yeah. Bleary. That's how I feel.)

Karen said...

Oh FUDGE. I was trying to do a metahip fake HTML tag to indicate "tantrum over" but Blogger won't display it. Can't they recognize that < / tantrum > isn't a real tag??

DavidEhrenstein said...

Latest FaBlog: Elaine Stewart “I‘m Company“

Trish said...

She stole that scene from Kirk and Lana, and she looked sensational doing it. I'm thankful for her.

BTW, can we talk here while Siren is away?

DavidEhrenstein said...

Sure. Don't see why not.

Kevyn Knox said...

Have a fun holiday. Your readers will surely miss you but they do say absence makes the heart grow yada yada, so you will surely be doubly loved upon your return.

cgeye said...

David E.,
Miss Stewart was luscious in YOUNG BESS, so much so that one had to mutter, "that Henry? *nutters*." Such a shame, throwing out such a nice queen like that....

And I didn't know about her game show bona fides....

She was a fine dame, and shall be missed.

Karen said...

It's been twelve days! I know you said a little more than two weeks, but when do you come hooooooooome??

< / whine >

WV: hedogras, which sounds like the sort of heavenly French dish you're probably eating right NOW.